Au pairing for a gap year

Back again. I'm going to upload some photos of the German family. I just emailed them, suggested either doing a trial au pair thing for them over the one-two week vacation period I have from my French family, or visiting them for a weekend. Because now I really want to take a gap year and au pair for German family after French one (well I kind of only want to au pair in Germany for 6 months really, a year sounds a bit boring). And damn those return tickets syd-paris I already bought. But to make sure the kids aren't freaks, and that the parents aren't total weirdos, I could go visit them over Christmastime or I could ask French mum for one whole weekend off in exchange for more evening babysitting, to visit the German family.

The pictures look so appealing...I love their cats, and I love their horses!!! The house looks nice too. And I even like the fact that there are 5 kids, because even though that's a bit more full on, it kind of means I have an excuse if you know what I mean? As in, if X, Y and Z are doing something they aren't meant to be doing, I could just solve X's problem first and be like, 'yeah soz have my hands full with him as you can see, so can't handle Y and Z too at the moment). Plus I kind of think to have that many siblings, the kids couldn't be too badly behaved right? Because otherwise the parents would stop having them. Oh, and this family has a proper piano too, so I could even keep up with my piano.

The German family actually seems quite lovely and easygoing! For some reason I get a better vibe off them than the French family, and plus German would be a beneficial language to become fluent in. Not to mention the visa is crazy easy to get (it can't be difficult if they let you in the country first and then give you the visa, not like they would deport half the people they let into the country...)

I daresay, the kids could even pass as cute, and the animals even more so!!

No one with that many bunnies could possibly be psychotic, right?

Plus the own 3 Icelandic horses. They must be rich. Just look at that house. Although the dad just looks a tad creepy. And apparently they live near public transport...although they look like they live in the middle of nowhere. I guess I can find out if they're being honest if they let me visit over Christmastime. If they don't even let me visit for like a day, then it's probably psycho-family-alert. Little boy looks absolutely adorable, I must admit. Although the mum looks the teeniest bit like she's capable of being evil. And the 3rd daughter looks to be potential brat alert (family describes her as 'lively and funny'). Not too sure about the 'lively' bit.

Trying to study

Technically, I'm telling myself I'm not procrastinating at the moment. I'm waiting for my frozen rigatoni to get heated in the microwave for lunch.

My plan is to attack Advanced, get it all done and if I can start history by tomorrow, I will be able to forgive myself for the past procrastination.

Obviously my dream is to travel the world, hence the name of this blog. I can tell myself that as long as I work hard now, I can eventually have the money to go to all the places I've always wanted to go to. I'm not even picky about where I want to go to, anywhere would do.

I have this weird habit of trying to avoid going to places in the world I've already been to. That's why this time round I have tried to limit the time spent in Shanghai because I've been there 3 times already, and I can already safely say that I can navigate Shanghai for the most part like a local, so I've pretty much experienced all the culture there is to experience. By now I've spent a total of what, 5 months in Shanghai over the years? I think that's enough for me. STA sent me my plane ticket itinerary at 2am this morning (I only know because I was awake at 2am), for some weird reason. Must have been like an automated email or something. I'm staying in Shanghai as an extended layover almost. It costs next to nothing extra to fly to Shanghai on the 9th of Dec, then fly out there at like 11:55pm on the 11th of Dec and arrive in Paris at like 5:30am on the morning of the 12th. Some fun jetlag I'm going to have. Well luckily not too much jetlag from Sydney to Shanghai, only about 3 hours difference I think.

So now I'm typing this as I'm waiting for my rigatoni to cool down from the microwave. I'm feeling quite good at the moment, because concerta is a moodlifter (according to a certain someone from school), and I am feeling calmer than I usually would. I took the 27 mg even though I have the 36mg, because even though it's meant to be rare to build a tolerance to it, I always find the 36mg more effective if I only take it once in awhile (and that would be during HSC for me, I need all the concentration I can get).

I find journal writing and blogging strangely therapeutic, even though my journal entries differ quite a bit to my blog entries, and even though I'm semi blogging to no one because I don't expect anyone to be reading this. After all, my blog posts are full of random ramblings that may make no sense.

So I'm arriving in Shanghai at 7:20pm on 9 December, and leaving at 11:55pm on 11 December. That gives me the whole day of the 10th and 11th to do some stuff I'd love to revisit in Shanghai.

I think top of my list of things to do for the short time I'll be in Shanghai goes like this:

-East Nanjing Road, because it always feels more cultural than West Nanjing Road. West Nanjing Road just feels like...you know that area outside the newly renovated Westfield Sydney? That place with like Zara and stuff, and it's a bit like a promenade/board walk type thing. Basically West Nanjing Road just feels like that (except way bigger, longer, more expensive stores and cars sandwiched between two sides of the road, so it's an actual street). I want to go to Forever 21 (first one in Shanghai!) at East Nanjing Rd for cheap clothes, really missed all the Forever 21 stores in Waikiki and LA.

-I really, really want to go to this amazing-sounding restaurant in Shanghai called 'Ultraviolet' by Paul Pairet. it sounds amazing, but it costs 2500 yuan for a full dinner. Which means I'd be forking out $440 Australian dollars for a dinner. Which I refuse to do. Maybe I'll return when I'm rich, it's one of those wacky restaurants that offer fancy 'sensory' experiences I think. I'm bummed out that Maison du Macaron in Shanghai is closed down, they seemed to have the best macarons. Jean Paul Hevin, I may try instead. But they sound expensive.

-The Bund is a must for me.

-I should try visit Pudong, perhaps Super Brand Mall, they had a pretty big H&M if I recall. Even though I don't like H&M that much, and it's expensive ish in Shanghai.

-I want to walk to Huaihai Rd, just for fun because the French Concession always is really cool to walk in.

That's it, I think. Oh, and I refuse to catch the Metro or the bus or a taxi. Walking all the way is the best way in any city, I even like walking in Sydney. I don't know why I'm such a big walker, even though I am lazy as hell. Was considering visiting Yu Gardens too, but I don't think I will this time round. Bit too touristy for me, overpriced and the areas that aren't touristy are a bit too Chinese for me.

Oh, and Xujiahui! A bit far to walk perhaps, even the metro takes awhile to get there with multiple transfers. But it's quite fun to walk around in, even if I could never afford most of the stuff that is sold in the malls.

-So the night of 9 December I want to go to Huaihai Rd, even though I'd have just gotten off a 10 hour flight and it takes 45 minutes to walk there and Shanghai would be freezing cold.
-10 December, I would walk to East Nanjing Rd, then maybe Xujiahui. But I want to buy stuff at East Nanjing Rd, so maybe I might go there on the 11th instead, because I may have to bring great aunt 1 along on the 10th to re-teach me how to cross Shanghai roads. And if she saw me buy crap at Forever 21, she'd flip, even if it was with my own money.
-11 December, I'd go to Pudong. Super brand mall, Jean Paul Hevin , then go visit the Bund on the way back. Which reminds me, I would definitely have to take the Metro to Pudong because I'm not about to swim across the Huangpu River.

The thing I always hate about visiting Shanghai is the money issue. I would get it exchanged in Sydney if I could, but my mum and grandpa wouldn't let me. They would be like, 'your uncle would give you money when you get there and we would pay him back' which makes me feel awkward, because Chinese people simply don't have my spending habits. My uncle tends to give me 200 yuan at a time, which is a bit over $40. He's fantastic though and is my favourite family member, so he'd never say anything if I asked for more, but I'd feel awkward asking too many times because then he'd think I was wasting my money. He is frugal but generous (he never splurges on himself but always took me to expensive eating spots, like the fancy Italian restaurant with river views and the Japanese place). Plus, there always is a bit of a fight at the end with my grandpa insisting on paying him back, my uncle refusing to accept, my mum insisting to pay him back, etc.

I'm estimating I'd need about 1000 yuan in those two full days. Yes, a thousand. Which is about $175 but to a Chinese person that's ridiculous crazy amount. I'd pay for it myself (I mean, 175 really isn't that much), but as previously stated my mum wouldn't let me. I may have to sneak to a currency exchange by myself. Then they'd give me dodgy looks when I bring like 3 bags of clothes home from Forever 21. These are the moments when I wish my mum would come to Shanghai too. No asking-for-money issues there, even she was buying tonnes of crap in Hawaii. Because I know she is crazy good at budgeting, and even though she pretends otherwise, I know when we go on a holiday she always makes sure she has triple the amount we actually need for 'emergencies'. And heck, she could afford to give it to me even more now with that husband of hers (makes me feel a bit like a bitch though). So I may tactfully ask her closer to departure date for the 1000 yuan, because I refuse to pass up Forever 21. Maybe she'll understand, because she too loves Forever 21. I'll even show her the Chinese website to convince her.

I was considering getting another pair of fake uggs, but now I don't think I will. Too much work haggling with the people at the fake designer markets.

Ew my rigatoni's all cold now. Don't have much of an appetite because of the concerta.

Anyway, then 12 December at 5:30am I arrive in Paris (12 hour flight I think from Shanghai).

Charles de Gaulle airport is 30 minutes drive from my host family's home. I hope they can give me a lift, but the dad works so I'm not sure when he'll be at work by, and obviously the mum would have to stay at home to watch the baby and kids. I'll have to confirm with her. I don't think there would be much of an issue though for her to take the baby with her, but the problem is the kids have to be at school by 8am. Still that should be enough time to pick me up with them in the car, drive back and still drop them off to school.

So they live in Chelles, France. I have pictures of their house they sent me.

It seems nice enough. I mean, the house does look a tad run-down from the outside, but then again it could be one of those 'rustic old European houses'. 

They gave me their address already, so I found their house on Google Maps. At least the hedge is trimmed neatly, that's a good sign right?

I'm a bit anxious (tiny bit) because I keep reading horror stories about au pair experiences in both France and other European countries. It's a bit daunting, I think you tend to come across bad experiences like 65 percent of the time. I hope they're nice.

I'm also a bit concerned about 'French etiquette'. It seems they have really intense rules regarding eating especially, and table manners. Now, knowing that Chinese table manners are the opposite of Western ones, that's a tad scary. Even worse, my table manners are like a cross between Western and Chinese. So I don't know about that, will have to read up on table manners in France. Especially as their profile claims they enjoy food or something.

That's their profile info. They say 'we love good food', I only hope we won't be eating out too often because I have no idea about French table etiquette. 

They have already changed their profile to look for someone for September 2014. I am filling in for their au pair from Melbourne who is au pairing from October 2013-Sept 2014, but she is going to visit her own family during Christmas, which is when I step in. 

They used to claim on their profile that they pay an additional 150-350 euros per month or something for additional english lessons in the neighbourhood and evening babysitting, that better still be true. They did email me about the job requirements:

-------------------

Hello Joanna,

I would ask you 30 hours working per week  (for 314 eur per month pro
rata temporis), I think it would be like that :

-           I would need you Monday Tuesday Friday Thursday all morning
until 1pm some days or 2pm45 some days, including 45 min or 1h of
english lessons to my 2 childrens

-          On Wednesday I would ask 1.5 hour of English lesson in the
morning for my 2 kids, probably from 10 am to 11.30 am, and some
Wednesday afternoon to bring my older son to a lesson in another city
by metro (which will take about 3 hours, from 1.30pm to 4.30 pm) I do
not know exactly how I will organize that

-          Sometimes to bring them to their activities in Chelles (music,
sport, danse)

-          Sundays free



-          plus 1 or 2 babysitting in the evening when I go to sport


And then, you will give collective lessons to children (maximum 10
children in a group). It would be on Saturday :

Probably 3.30 pm to 4.30 pm first group (little ones, around 6 years
old)

And 4.30 pm to 5:30 pm second group around 9 years old

This would be paid 30 euros per hour if the groups are complete (10
kids per group, as I have asked for 3 eur per hour per children). We
will be starting the lessons first Saturdayof October.

And there may be another group on wenesday afternoon, or maybe
sturday morning, but an English girl that we know could do it if you
are not available.


And if you wish, I can tell my friends that you are available to
babysit from time to time.


You will  have one week free of working during Christmas holidays,
maybe 2, I need to think about how we will organize our Christmas
holidays and what you would  like to do.

I need to check if you can have free French lessons in Chelles while
our Au Pair will not be there.  It will be during afternoons.

What is your level of French please?


So I guess you will have some time to visit Paris.


If you wish to take a day or 2 off work sometimes, we can arrange
that if you tell me in advance, even if it is on Saturday, I can ask
the English girl we know to do the French lessons for you.


If it is the same price to come, I would prefer if you could come
before the 13th of December.


I do not have a lot of time just right now, but we can skype to talk
about that.


Kind regards

------------------

So, I have a few uncertainties here.

-First of all, fingers crossed the kids are not the type to attack babysitters physically, like so many au pair experiences I've heard of.

-I have to keep in mind to ask them for a more clearer schedule, AS SOON as I arrive (to avoid the exploited scenario). 

-I have to calculate the amount of hours I worked during the first week to see if I would be exploited.

-I need to ask when I arrive whether they are paying me weekly or monthly. Fingers crossed weekly.

-Make sure they pay me for the 'extra' English lessons.

-I should be getting paid for evening babysitting too (unless it contributes towards the 30 hours per week)

-I hope they are going to pay for transport passes (but I wouldn't mind too much if they don't it's just that most families do, and Paris is an expensive place for everything).

-I wonder if they mean by vacation, a paid vacation? I think it is a paid vacation, because apparently paid vacations are really long and the norm in France. Fingers crossed it is a paid vacation. It would be I think, because they'd have to tell me beforehand if it wasn't, rather than me showing up assuming I'd get paid for the whole 2 months. 

-Housework is my main problem. According to au pair websites, the heaviest housework I should be doing is easy ironing and laundry. Strictly not jobs like hard ironing of blouses or something, shouldn't be laundering stuff that is too gross and dirty, and I shouldn't be doing stuff like cleaning toilets. 

-I hope I get my own bathroom. I get my own room for sure, because they told me if I wanted to come earlier or stay later they had a spare bedroom for me even with the other au pair there. 

-So basically I refuse to do stuff like change diapers or clean bathrooms. I will have to be firm from the start I think, so they don't think I'm a naive little 17 year old who hasn't done her research.

-And I always need to be ready to search for other families, because you never know if you might end up with a psycho one that kicks you out (that happens often apparently). Luckily, most of these girls have irresponsible parents who don't have enough money to help them out in a situation like this. Whereas I'm sure my mum would loan me the money (or rather her husband would) if I needed to say stay in a hotel in Paris for a few days until I found a new family. I probably would find one if I had to, because I could search for an au pair job anywhere in Europe seeing as the travel prices are cheap within Europe, so it wouldn't be just restricted to Paris.

-I better be free to explore Paris as soon as I get off work at 2:45 on weekdays. I'd hate to have the type of family who keeps you around making you play with your children, under the pretence that 'you must because you are part of the family, and that's what big sisters would do!'

-I think 10 years old is a safe age, because the boy likes reading apparently and I can't imagine a tantrum thrower being a bookworm as well.

-6 year old girl I would have to be more wary of. Not sure how easy or difficult she would be, but I'd expect any age for a girl before 8 years could be potentially tricky or bratty type.

-Unfortunately, I don't think they will be going on many trips together as a family (so no free holidays in Europe for me), because of the baby. Obviously no family in their right minds brings a baby of a few months old on holiday.

I think during my week-long Christmas vacation I would probs just pack my bags and go to somewhere else in France, maybe go take a look at the famous regions like Nice or something. Even if it wasn't a paid vacation. Well, unless the kids were really nice and I didn't mind them. But I can't really imagine an easygoing 6 y o girl, especially one that probably does not get enough attention because of the baby. And dammit, I just checked up on school holidays in France, the kids get 21/12 to 6/01 as a small Christmas holiday. Oh well, not too bad I guess it could have been longer/worse.

This blog semi freaks me out:

http://aupairabroad.tumblr.com

It took me hours to read. The writer is actually really engaging, you have to go to page 18 and work your way from the post at the bottom page up. Although her host family was annoying and the kids were nightmares, I think she had issues too. I mean, she got drunk every night and returned to the family at like 6am every morning or something? If I were the family, I might have had issues too. I am shocked at how immature the 12 year old was, though. 

So their long-term au pair returns on 15 February, but my Contiki tour of Europe doesn't start until 18 February so the family offered to let me stay in their spare bedroom. But I don't think I'd want to, because I don't want weird awkward moments with another au pair and having to deal with the kids' confusion, etc or have to say no to playing with them (since I obviously wouldn't be getting paid). So I'm spending 15th-18th Feb in London, which is where the tour starts anyway. I'm doing the European Discovery tour. What sucks was I had to pay and extra $500 to get a single room to myself, because my mum would freak if I had to share double or triple. 

http://www.contiki.com/destinations/europe/tours/110-european-discovery-winter

So by 1 March 2014, I would have visited:

-Netherlands

-Germany

-Austria

-France

-England

-Switzerland

-Belgium

-Italy

If I had more money I'd just go full on touring Europe without au pairing so I could do the Eastern countries like Poland and stuff, but hey I'm not gonna complain, I don't mind spending 9 weeks near Paris.

And, BTW, the host family 'piano' is really a lame digital keyboard, I saw it that one time I skyped with the family. So not much practice to be done there. Ok now it's 4 pm and I really have to study.

Before I go though, I should probably make a checklist of things I need to do between now and 9 December:

-Finalise scholarship applications by 2 October

-Passport photo ASAP

-Renew passport ASAP

-Get the Schengen visa from the French embassy, have to ring first to book appointment by 1 November

-Figure out how to get the UK visa by 1 November

-Revise grade 5 music theory (maybe grade 6) for music auditions by 1 November

-Send in flight itinerary details to Contiki by 8 November

-Pay full amount minus deposit for Contiki tour and check in to the tour online by 9 November

-Apply for elite performer bonus points by 30 November

-Figure out global SIM card stuff by 1 December

-Go figure out currency issues (yuan, pounds and euros), travel money card at the bank by 5 December

-Go get brows and stuff done as well as a facial with Ci by 7 December

-Plan spare time in France by 8 December

-Organise hotel in London for 15 Feb-18 Feb by 8 December

-Plan for 3 days in London by 8 December

-Confirm flights with STA by 8 December

-Tell Mum to answer calls for me regarding scholarship applications and UAC contact stuff by 8 December

Less important stuff:

-Buy tour books for Western Europe and France

-See if there are au pair meetups in Paris

-See if there's a nanny handbook somewhere

-Buy better luggage

-Research online language programs to learn French

-Double check with Host Mum if there is wifi, if not maybe consider getting extra internet data on the phone.

-Download music, movies.

-Download tonnes of books on kindle/iBooks.

-Switch to either iphone 5s or go back to iphone 5 because the S4 is crap.

-Buy some clothes online

-Research French culture and etiquette

-Go get birth control so I don't get stuck with my period overseas.

-Get monthly contacts

-Go to the dentist, because I haven't been in like 6 years?

-Buy some gifts for host family - maybe coffee table book of Australia for parents OR chocolate covered macadamias OR tim tams. Koala bag/toy/backpack for girl. Some Australia-print bib for baby. Maybe a really big Australia-themed snowglobe or some other toy or an English book for boy.

-Maybe bring my flute along and finally start learning it in Paris?

-Maybe find a babysitting job on the side for extra money in Paris.

Also, I'm seriously considering taking gap year. I found an amazing German family near Duesseldorf with 3 horses, 2 dogs, 3 cats, 5 kids. They go horseriding every week! Pay is 360 euros a month as well as free board, food and public transport, but I'd have to pay myself for compulsory language classes with the au pair visa. My mum would not let me take a gap year (even though she claims to loathe me and the amount of money she has to spend on me), but I so want to. They even have a separate detached ensuite bedroom with separate front door for the au pair. 4 weeks paid vacation if you au pair for the year. They are going on holiday to Denmark next year too, sounds like perfect family. I really regret buying return air tickets now. Who knows, if I change my mind I could even go to Germany and tell my mum last minute. It'd be perfect, I could visit German family first during my Christmas break to make sure they don't have evil kids and animals. I could ring STA, ask to cancel my flight to Sydney or switch it for Paris-Duesseldorf (which is honestly like 60 bucks by air or train). I don't even need a visa for Germany, if you are from Australia you don't apply for an au pair residence permit until after you've arrived in Germany!

Good thing about host family in France, the French lessons in Chelles are free (I don't have to take them because I am on a Schengen tourist visa and technically working there illegally, so it's not like the compulsory French lessons under an au pair visa). But the family wants me to take them because their long-term au pair has to take them, and the family doesn't want to complicate things by telling the government about long term au pair's home visit, so I'm just filling in for the girl's French lesson attendance, even. But I don't mind (unless it is really boring). Hopefully I will be half-fluent in French by the time I leave! If I do international studies at uni I kind of want to go to France for a year, not too sure yet. Maybe Germany or Spain instead. 

Had a bit of a snoop on Google maps, discovered the house is a 20 minute walk from a shopping centre. Only stores I recognised under the directory were Sephora, H&M and Carrefour (which is also in Shanghai!) Semi lame though. Would do Sephora if desperate for shampoo or something, H&M for clothes and I will steer clear of food because it's awkward eating your own food at someone else's house.

Off to do study now, hopefully. Munching on red licorice, watermelon and drinking apple,mandarin, strawberry and lime juice which just tastes like orange juice -_-

Also less obvious MUST-visit places in France/England before I forget!!

-Versailles

-Laduree or some macaron shop

-Shakespeare and co

-Paris flea markets

-Go see the Paris Opera Ballet or something. Or the Royal Ballet or the London Philharmonic (or Paris).

-Holocaust museum in Paris

-Music museum in Paris

-Horse ride in London, or Paris if French is good enough.

-Mont St-Michel

-Visit Chipotle because all the vloggers on Youtube keep raving about it, even though Chipotle outside of USA may be different.

-Loire Valley Chateaux

-Avignon

-Go to Ravel, Debussy and Poulenc's graves. Just out of interest.

-Go visit the tombs of all those crazy medieval rulers in London (Westminster Abbey, maybe?)

-Palace of Fontainebleau

-Urban Outfitters, Topshop and Brandy Melville in London/Paris.

Off to do English now, au revoir.

Resurrection

I've decided to resurrect this blog. I mean, I do keep a private journal but sometimes for those less private things, a blog is much more appealing. I was reading through all my old posts and it was actually really cool getting to reminisce about everything and all of my travels. So I am continuing this blog, 20 months later.

It's weird to read the last couple of posts from my first week in year 11. How things have changed...I'm now fully graduated and off into the real world.

And now I'm procrastinating as usual, even at 12:50am. Who know Gloria Jeans' iced mochas were so effective at keeping me awake...works even better than the 36 mg Concerta. Yesterday I was doing this weird thing where I took the 27mg, waited 8 hours then did the 36, but I felt a bit off when I did that. Awake but tired, if that makes sense.

Anyhow, sometimes I hate myself because I keep procrastinating. That sounds ridiculous I know, but now I seriously think there's something messed up with me in regards to this procrastination. It simply cannot be normal. I have only finished half of my freaking belonging notes, for god's sake! I didn't actually study for trials, surprise surprise, so now I have all my work cut out for me 2 weeks before the HSC. It's disgusting. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have not done anything else.

I applied for a few scholarships at UNSW today. I'm good at exaggerating things and making people believe my bullshit. Quite good at face to face lying to, actually. Anyway, that was a waste of time because I doubt I would get any. My grades were crap, who the heck gets below in Advanced when they do Extension? How embarrassing. Only thing I had going for me was bullshitting about my 'passion for piano' and also bullshitting about 'financial circumstances', 'family illness' and I even shoved in my mum getting married the week of my trials. Plus, my year 11 grades and heck even grades before year 11 were quite good compared to my year 12 grades (trust me to screw up when it really matters). I could ask them to compare my prelim rankings to my HSC ones and see how my 'circumstances' affected me, that might do the trick. After all, these aren't big scholarships. They're only worth like $3000 in total on average. They pay you that much and that's it, no more money. They only give out like 1 per sponsor though, sometimes up to 3, so it's a bit harder to get I guess. Now I just feel greedy. There are people who need the money more than me probably, but hey it's still money. I would move out if I could with that money, and if my bullshitting skills pay off, so be it.

I've realised I'm the most inconsistent person ever. Nothing is ever consistent with me. I go through phases like the drop of a hat, I am so indecisive and change my mind about everything. That too is ridiculous. My rankings can go from 8th to 34th in less than three assessments, if I get too bored with the topic. The thing is, I know I could do it if I tried. I am capable. I just don't work hard enough, and that's even worse, when you know there's hope for you if only you'd just WORK. I mean, there are people in my year who can't construct sentences together properly. But there was actually hope for me before I had to stuff things up.

I've found a job au pairing in France. I know most people would be like: 'You as an au pair? But you don't even like kids'. And that's true, I loathe most types of kids. It takes a really special kid for me to like it. And I've dealt with quite a few...let's see, I've taught:

-J, my first student, the intelligent spoilt brat who turned out to be a thief. I fired her when she was 8.

-C, 6 years old and confirmed dyslexic with parents. Very, very slow boy but wonderful parents who gave me money bonus when their family had to leave for Vietnam. Taught him for about a year and he was always cheerful, left still only knowing how to play Mary had a little lamb, the poor thing.

-W, my 3rd kid. 9 years old I think. Still with me know, have taught him for the past 3 years. Dumbest kid I have ever interacted with, batshit crazy mother who physically abuses him if he doesn't practise (apparently). Strongly feel he is dyslexic. He is incredibly frustrating (NO, THAT IS NOT YOUR LEFT HAND). But I think I'm mean/harsh on him all the time, and I feel bad. Don't want to be like my old piano teacher. But he is so easy to get frustrated with and he is generally obedient. So sometimes I take it out on him a bit when his dumbness shows through too much.

-E and T, the two monsters from hell. Legitimately. T I suspect was ADHD (super hyperactive type), would spit and run around in nothing but underpants and slap me and freak after 15 minutes on the piano. 7 years old. E was 11, quite intelligent but disobedient and he too whined after 15 minutes. Somehow stopped teaching them after I got back from China in year 10.

-Can't remember his name, but this boy was 8 I think. Average intelligence, lazy, not bad at piano. Annoying mother. His sister I taught English to a few times, 12 years old, okay personality. They fired me (it's hard to try with lazy kids), and then paid me $70 to write an essay for an application so their daughter could try switching to a selective school.

-C and his little brother (can't remember name). Absolutely hopeless at piano, both of them. Never practised, lenient but nice mother and grandmother. Their mother paid me $60 to do half an hour of torturous piano (you try teaching a kid that never practises) with each of them and also half an hour of reading each. Literally reading. C was 12, and we took 2 months or something just listening to him reading the hunger games. I did not have to do a thing. Did he really hate reading enough for his mum to pay $30 for a person to sit there and supervise? He was constantly bored but polite enough not to show it too much. His little brother was definitely dyslexic. Not bad at piano though, sometimes practised but his level of reading was so bad it was ridiculous. I kept cancelling lessons when I had too many assessments, then one holidays they 'went to Japan', would text when they came back and well I never heard back from them...

-I've done 2 trial lessons with kids whose parents outright rejected me straightaway (usually because they couldn't bear the thought of a high school kid teaching. Well, you get what you pay for. I don't just charge $40 an hour because I'm feeling charitable).

-M, a 7 y o girl I'm currently teaching. Perfectionist, OCD, very...pedantic shall we say. Polite though, and semi-studious. Practises on occasion, slightly above average intelligence. Overall very comfortable to teach. Her mum once took me out for a $70 buffet lunch at a fancy hotel to discuss her daughter's 'prospects'. He mum is a tiny bit weird but not too bad when you get to know her.

-Pakistani girl with unusual name that I can't remember. Came for 10 lessons max I think, she wanted an hour of just tutoring. Then got too lazy to come so she would skip lessons without texting me to let me know, which was quite impolite and frustrating. She was talkative and in year 8, which was nice because she could chat for ages. Hey, that's her money wasted not mine.

-My two Pakistani neighbours, who used to come every week for about 2 months but now only come when they need me to 'check over' their assessments. Feel bad for them because I know their parents can't afford it, so I give them a small discount. Nice kids, really obedient. They're in year 9 and 6, both are intelligent. Can never remember their names.

-2 new kids (can't remember names), who are currently holidaying in Cambodia and Thailand. I can sniff a crazy mother from a mile away, and believe me their mother is crazy. Their playing sucks. The 12 year old girl can't even play the right notes after a few months of playing her pieces. So obviously she is very lazy, but a nice polite girl nonetheless. The boy is ok but he plays crazy fast. He is 8 I think? And I already know he is going to test me. I can tell he is intelligent, he kept showing passive-aggressive signs of defiance like purposefully pressing down the wrong pedal when I showed him something on the piano, then pretending nothing was wrong. Note to self: be more strict with him before he decides to test me more.

-T in the city. Taught him for quite awhile (at least 2 and a half years). Tutored him in writing for awhile, got into a fully selective school which I was proud of him for. Quite obedient, semi strict typical Asian parents, horrid piano that never got tuned. Never practised, was terrible at piano (partially my fault because he started with me when I was 14, mostly his fault because he was not practising). Before trials I cancelled about 3 lessons to study. He then mysteriously 'broke his arm' and promised it would heal after 6 weeks. Haven't heard from him since. Ahh, all the creative ways to fire people.

I actually teach 4 half-asian kids, which is interesting because I didn't realise Eurasian kids were that common. Only ever taught 1 white kid, the rest were all asian.

But the thing is, even in life, I'm the biggest bullshitter there is. How many kids have I taught in my short lifetime already? Let's see, there's...16 already. All but 2 of them I had taught for a regular basis for long periods of time. If they lasted 1st lesson with me they would then go on to last about 6 months at the very least. Heck, some of them did about a year, 2 years, some up to almost 4 years.

So do I loathe my job? Yes, I do. It would be tough work if I was full on taking it seriously. Piano exams are difficult, yes even little 1st grade ones. Not only on the student, but on the teacher as well.

It's like a scratchie.

-Category 1: 15% of the time I am estimating, I'd get a kid from hell. Either passive aggressive freakchild or violent devilchild. I reckon that number would go up way more if I didn't just teach mostly Asians whose parents hang around at home keeping a careful ear out during lessons.

-Category 2: 50% of the time, the kid would be just narrowly tolerable. They won't practise (you can tell immediately), but they won't do the spitting/screaming/tantruming either, and are generally obedient (but fuming inside, may give signs of impatience like barely audible frustrated sighing). These are the second-to-worst type to teach, because not practising when you are not above-average intelligence makes for very boring, frustrating, repetitively pointless lessons. When the teacher takes on more the role of 'practise supervisor/overseer' than 'educator' or 'provider of new knowledge'.

-Category 3: 15% of the time, you get the kids who are 'good' at piano only because they are intelligent, and intelligence can only help you in music for so long. These are the kids that excel for the first 6 months, maybe even last a year if lucky, then comes the burn out. I'd say this category is most likely to quit. You can tell they haven't practised, but because they are smart, they can still get the notes relatively correct. Thus, lessons are less boring. But with these more intelligent kids, you tend to feel like you have less authority over them, which can be annoying. Sometimes you can be too nice to them and feel awkward about having them repeat that bar X amount of times, because a lot of the time these kids know they are smart and are more emotionally intelligent (so are more like teenagers than young kids). They would have heard people tell them they're intelligent constantly throughout their lives, and they aren't used to trying hard at school to get the grades (this is primary school we're talking about), so they simply aren't used to having to work at something. Strangely enough, many of the smartest kids I know have absolutely no self-discipline.

-Category 4: 15% of the time, you get the type of kid who is incredibly stupid (or perhaps just dyslexic), but they're like sheep. They'll do anything without thinking twice about it. No 'that's boring, I don't wannnaaaa do that', or 'but I played that already!'. If I say play that 10 times, they play it 10 times. The thing with these kids is that because they are so brainless, they actually do practise when you tell them to. But they are too dumb to practise productively or retain information. Again, these just may actually be dyslexic, but more often than not they are genuinely unintelligent. Although I'm surprised at the number of kids I've encountered that can't read properly yet (but I guess this doesn't necessarily equal dyslexia). They may have cray cray parents who may force them to practise and from an early age they learn to be obedient. I am actually really interested in these kids, because of the connection between brain development and instrument playing (scientifically proven, as well as explained to me by my music ext teacher who did her first doctorate on music psychology on a scholarship at Cambridge, and is now onto her 2nd). Apparently musicians actually do have an altered brain structure. But I used to just wonder, is it only because it takes a certain personality type (persistence) to learn? Or because the average/below average intelligence kids simply give up because they are too dumb, or no teacher can get through to them? Or maybe these kids are still playing, but they never get noticed because their instrumental skills just aren't on par with others their age, as it takes them way longer to learn?

-Category 5: And...5% of the time, you get that kid who has a natural affinity for music, or rather self-discipline and maturity perhaps. More the latter, as I have yet to find a kid who is 'musically talented', if such a thing from birth even exists. They appreciate it, they are mature enough to understand their parents are spending money for their benefit. They understand that musical sophistication and understanding and intelligence are a privilege to have, but to have that privilege you need to work your butt off. Maybe these kids even inherently get a gut feeling that music does develop the brain invaluably (me here would be 10 IQ points dumber I guarantee you if I wasn't a pianist). Sure, these kids may have their off weeks when they don't practise or go through a phase, but they are either intelligent enough to cover up their lack of practice, or they eventually return to self-discipline. I admire these kids. I sure know I wasn't one of them. I fell into more the 'gets forced to practise' category, which is one we won't even go into as it doesn't count. Although for a few years of my life I did quite enjoy piano. Maybe from 4-7, and then when I was 11 I loved it. Anyway, I think I may only be teaching 1, who may only JUST fit this category 5 criteria, at the moment currently. These types of kids are a rare find indeed, but you can tell even from a young age. The good thing is, the older the kid gets the more obvious it becomes that this kid is not just simply another category 3 kid.

The thing I've realised is that kids rarely make it. Generally, I'd estimate 65% quit before starting grades. Of the remaining 35%: 25% may make it to grade 6 if even that, 10% go beyond that. By then, the realm of grade 8 would be near, and less people tend to quit. By the time you make it past grade 8, or maybe even 6, I reckon that's the point when piano and classical music and the knowledge sticks with you for life, even when you don't realise how much it becomes a part of you and how much more you know, even if you still hate the instrument to death because of the monotony that practising piano has become. I realised this when we were doing year 12 references, and I had to bring in my diploma for proof. My homeroom teacher (who is extremely nice, if not a bit...ignorant and seemingly uneducated) took one look at it, and asks me 'what is a piano fort?' Literally. Actually says 'piano fort'. She did not even know how to pronounce 'pianoforte', let alone know how a 'pianoforte' could possibly equate to 'piano'. To me that just seems incomprehensible that a grown woman of 2 kids would not know this, but I guess there are things I take for granted sometimes and it does take a wake-up call to be grateful for all the knowledge. The longer you bear with it obviously, the more you reap the awards and come to acknowledge what you've gained over the years.

The good thing about Asian parents is they make their kids persist, even the lenient ones, for at least like 6 months. Whereas I reckon if I was teaching an Australian kid, and they became undoubtedly bored, I would be fired within 3 lessons.

Anyway, this has become a giant coffee insomnia induced rant. I never even got to the point of my post, the au pairing bit. I think I'll just keep writing, because I seem to be on a weird journal writing streak. Which is kind of embarrassing and sad.

Okay, back to my original point which was: I don't like kids and I loathe my job and I am becoming an au pair. Thing is, before you ask 'why', think of it this way: I don't like kids, yet I put up with teaching. Think that babysitting is way harder than having a kid for an hour? Think again. Especially not the category 1 kid, which is even worse than babysitting. Because when you're babysitting, you'd just let him cool down from a tantrum but still get paid for that. Not when you've got a piano exam deadline and the parents are forking out for a FULL and exact 1 hour lesson, which does not include calmly placating a bratty 7 year old. Therefore, you put up with it and ignore it and keep demonstrating shit on the piano for him even when he is on the verge of shoving you, because you need to keep the illusion of 'teaching' him. So I think teaching and babysitting are on par in difficulty, at the very least. There is a reason why I get paid more than a babysitter (although I have, or rather my mum has, invested a crapload into my piano lessons). You come to recognise the signs of trouble from kids too, and their reactions and their subtle signs of boredom or frustration. You learn when and when not to push at their limits. You can tell when they're tired, or having a good/bad day.

Thing again is that I am a good bullshitter, capable of bullshitting my life away. And when I'm teaching, that's exactly what I do. So I don't see how bullshitting to myself that I like babysitting kids would be any different. I'm not an idiot that would sulk in front of my host parents about a kid throwing a tantrum. Sure, I may dislike most types of kids, but I put up with it professionally (and as a teacher unprofessionalism would get you fired in an instant, even at the rate I'm charging). So I think I'd do just fine. I'm quite patient, and even when frustrated I do not let this show at all. There's a reason why my kids all get frustrated before I do, and why my piano teacher always got frustrated before I did. I am positive I can handle it. The kids I am not worried about, unless they started physically attacking me which would obviously be not on (semi scared that they will be like those types of brats).

But it's a 10 year old boy, 6 year old girl and little baby. Baby won't be issue, mum is on maternity leave (which is annoying no one wants their employer hanging over them all day long). 10 year old boy and 6 year old I am hoping get along well. I think it helps that they're different genders.

So I've booked the ticket to Paris (they live in Chelles), and after reading au pair horror stories I am semi paranoid. I have only skyped with family once, they seem ok. But I am definitely more passive-aggressive than directly confrontational, so if they did anything inappropriate, I would be planning what to do and I would have a solution or backup host family in an instant, as under the Schengen visa I can go to most of Europe.

I need to sleep now, it's about 2:30am. But I will try as hard as I can tomorrow to finish English. Maybe if I stress less, let it go, my brain will put off the procrastination and get to work. I'll go back to that Baroque music list my ext teacher sent me that she claims is scientifically proven to induce alpha waves for studying and calming me down.